In my last article, “a Journey into Solo Motherhood,” I discussed the struggles of co-parenting while healing, as well as the glimmers of hope, manifestations, and hidden powers that emerge when needed. This time, I want to have an honest look at balancing feminine and masculine energies while being a solo mother.
There is nothing I want to celebrate more than women connecting to their divine feminine. During my pregnancy, I briefly experienced the power of being soft and surrendering to this phase of my life. However, as a single mom, I play the roles of provider and caretaker all in one. If I embrace only my feminine side, my ship won’t stay afloat. If I lean solely on my masculine side, my son won’t feel the emotional safe haven he deserves to thrive. So, no, I am not journeying into divine femininity, nor can I in my current situation.
This is one part of life where I can’t do it all. It’s also hard to attract a healthy masculine partner when I’m already playing the role of provider out of necessity. If one day the tables turn and I can surrender and become the softest version of myself, I fear my son might resent that I couldn’t be that version for all of his life. Do not get me wrong; for as far as I could take myself, I’m balancing it all.
This platform might actually be a constant reminder to myself to find softness while I'm also driven to provide on my own. Over the past two years, healing generational trauma of feminine ancestors operating in hyper-independence (masculine energy) has made balancing these energies a primary focus. Many of the women before me had to use their hyper independence simply to survive, but the clear down fall is missing out on their feminine super powers.
"While motherhood ignited my feminine side, single motherhood challenged it to the core."
So maybe being divinely feminine might not be in the cards for me as a single mother (sorry if this bursts your bubble), but I can still work on the hyper-masculinity passed down from previous generations. Being conscious of these patterns has already made a difference in my choices, relationships, and self-awareness.
I am hopeful the tides will turn for me someday, and I am proud to give this moment my full attention. Sometimes things need to be out of balance for our consciousness to learn and be ready when things shift in our favor. A lot of healing has taken place over the past years, and I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t endured it all. I try to focus on the parts of life that I can influence and where my power lies.
Life is a balancing act, and every phase comes with its own obstacles. Jonah will meet multiple versions of me, and as long as I’m aware of these versions, I can make choices accordingly. To all single moms finding the balance between being divinely feminine and masculine, I see you, and I am rooting for you. You are doing a physically, mentally, and spiritually challenging task, so be kind to yourself.
To everyone else reading this article, check in on your single mom friends. They might be so deep in survival mode that they’ll say everything is fine while drowning in all the responsibilities without any breaks. Society doesn’t support women as it supports men; that’s a fact. Thriving as a single mother is nearly impossible, and that’s the honest truth. May the odds be ever in your favor, single mama superheroes. I hope you all find your tribe, community and support system to help you beat all these odds until the tide turns again.
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